Many of our motives, so obvious to us, are never perceived by the people we talk to. Many instances of rudeness, stubbornness, inconsiderateness, or refusal to cooperate are really caused by differences in conversational style.
Deborah Tannen (born 1945)
It is good for us to reflect upon our motives, intentions, and attitudes. What may be even better, though, is to consider how those same things are perceived by those around us. As a general rule, bad motives lead to bad actions, but motives, intentions and attitudes are difficult to discern. Your body language, and how you say something, is often more important than the words themselves.
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Family History research in England 